One reason I love my new host.

Okay, so I'm looking through the faqs etc. for Nearly Free Speech and I find a page announcing a price increase. There was only one rude comment. It was the fourteenth comment. The next rudest thing was someone having a go at the people who dared mention their wallets. They must be the happiest hosting company oners ever. Some people where estatic. At a price increase.

At least I know I won't be sharing a server with any assholes.

In other news, today was the first time in my life I had to follow my cry of "indicate!" with "Indicate correctly!". It's not a very easy mistake to make.

Oh, and I'm moving hosts. Doll.

Best Conversations of the Week.

D: You should get a restraining order against him.
M: You weren't listening to a goddamn word I said, were you?
D: It seemed to be about B. Those conversations are all either dirty or Emo.
M: I was talking about how every moment we are appart he is intentionally ruining my life.
D: You should get an Instraining order.
M: ... go on.
D: Instead of having to keep a minimum or 50 feet away from you, he should have to keep a maximum of 50 feet away from you.
M: I like. Sounds kinda like a violation of human rights, but it's B so... I'll fake his educational psycology degree, you forge his signature on a job application as my new ISW, then we go to court. You can be my lawyer.
D: LOL, yeah?
M: You did two a-level law taster sessions. It'll do.
D: I think I'll get a restrainimg order against you. You must keep a minimum of 8 milimeters away from me at all times.
M: Then I'll get an instraining order against you. Must keep a maximum of 10 milimeters away from me.
D: Well, that would kill your sex life.
M: We could get 8mm thick condoms.
D: ... Or, I could just close my eyes and look inconspicuos.

M: What do you want to drink?
J: I'll have whatever you're having.
M: I'm having soya milk.
J: Oh.

D: We're loosing, take your top off,
M: G's too clever for that to work. That'd just distract you.
D: What about C?
M: C? You take your top off!
D: Point. Meh, he's shit anyway.
C: Hey!
M: You could at least have done that while I was calling you gay. Oooh, C, come on to G to distract him!
G: Come on, D, let's get the girls off the court and play like men.
D: No, she's my lucky mascot and she hit the cock twice... serving. Cant remeber the other one.

Aestheticism.

You know, there are two ways to deal with the fact in this world, image is everything. I mean, I was reading a magazine... Weight watchers magazine. I'm guessing it was bought by my mother, who is by far the most insecure about her wight. I'm pretty laid back about my weight. My weight is a medical HORROR. My immune system is almost non-existent, I'm in the MOST dangerous weight category in terms of BMI. And any other way you work it out. If I lost one stone, I would almost certinately die. My weight causes anemia and meant a complaint that should have cleared up in two weeks lasted three months. But my mum is more worried about her weight.... which recent research says is actually the LEAST dangerous weight to be. Anyway, the front cover of this magazine was fucking hilarious. At the top it says "THE UK'S BEST SELLING SLIMMING MAGAZINE!". Fucking hell. You must be so proud. One of the cover stories is also a laugh riot. "SHOCK REPORT: Is your weight costing you money?". Now, I'm not an expert in the field but one way I can think of to decrease the amount of money being fat is costing you is to; not pay WeightWatchers to make you feel bad about it, not buying WeightWatcher's magazines to make you feel bad about it, not buying expensive WeightWatcher's dieting products. Probably not the best thing to write about. And V was so right when she said being thin is expensive. The magazine then continues to tell you about all the success their customers found after loosing weight. Success. Okay, it's true, I am currently trying to kill myself, and if I lost weight, I'd die but... Success?

At the moment, one girl; let's call her Hannah, or Hannah-hobag, is constantly bullying me about having hairy legs. My legs are actually no hairier than hers, the only difference is I don't shave mine. However she continues to use the fact my legs are abnormally hairy as evidence that I'm a monkey. Now, most science would generally agree that Humans and Monkeys are different species and shaving the legs of a monkey doesn't make it human. I'm pretty sure humans are supposed to be similar to monkeys, but more intelligent. One decent indicator of intelligence is the ability, at the age of 16, to realize you are human because of your genes, not because of any cosmetic procedure. Various people have sugested, to deal with this situation, I shave my legs. You know what I'm ACTUALLY going to do? I'm going to get Hannah expelled. Let's look at the advantages of my way.

	Leg shaving.	Expelling Hannah.
Time cost	once a week or so for the rest of my life. Time cost, 40 hours a year? Presuming I live for another 3 years (optimistic) that's a lot of my valuable time.	Half an hour, maybe a whole hour. A whole hour I will take out of my English lesson, which is a waste of time anyway. Thus, adjusted time cost: nil.
Money	I need to buy razors and blades and stuff. They're relatively expensive.	Nil.
Enjoyability	None.	Expelling a girl who told one of my friends his four month old brother died chocking on his dad's cock? considerable. (Yes, she really said that)
Long term affects	I will always be slightly colder, My self esteem will always be slightly lower. My friends will always tease me about it. Negative.	I won't have to put up with the stupid bitch talking about the time she tried to have sex with a ten year old, ever again. (Hannah is actually one or more people, none of whom is called Hannah, and she actually did that. Then admitted it. Voluntarily. Twice. That I know of.) Positive.

So far, my way wins.

Now, you may be asking, could I really get her expelled? You bet. Let's go over this.

Me	Hannah	Me
Once beat the living shit out of a girl, and someone who tried to defend her (she sat on my lap). She got expelled. I got my bus pass taken of me for the rest of the year. I didn't attend school for the rest of the year (it was July). The school apologized. I once strangled a kid till he passed out on the table. The kid was originally sent to the office for aggravating me. He continued to maintain he had done nothing to me. They didn't believe him. They asked me what he did. I said nothing (he insulted me in Portuguese. Apparently.). I got sent to anger management sessions. Which I enjoyed.
Earns the school thousands of pounds in benefits both from being a little bit high on the autistic spectrum, then again for being "Gifted and Talented".	Isn't stupid enough to earn any financial help what so ever. Breaks things the school have to replace. The staff have to be paid to run her after school detentions. Has free school meals.
Asked to move forward a year, declined, because I hate that. Already has one GCSE, A*; got 100% in three module tests, 96% in two and 86% in one, which I am re-taking this month. Got 29/30 in one maths module and 18/24 on coursework. Probably aced another maths exam earlier this week. Archived one of the top 1% Yellis and Midyis scores in the country. Brings up the schools achievement average. Will definitely fuck the benchmark up the arse.	Held back a year.
Has 8 schools, closer to her house who will pull up a seat for her in a second if they see her yellis.	Has been expelled from 3 of those schools, rejected from the rest.
	Has been told if she so much as gets a yellow slip, she will likely be expelled.	Is a prefect, and so authorized to give out yellow slips.

I'm thinking, I win.