5 simple webdesign rules.

Seriously, this is so simple I can't believe people have these issues.

the first thing my father told me, before I learned HTML or CSS or anything, was very, very simple. Yet, people still make this mistake. Yahoo, for example, their web designers must be utter fucktards. The rule? Specify, Specify, Specify. If you specify a foreground colour, specify a background colour. If you specify a background colour, specify a foreground. If you don't specify either, don't specify either. Leaving a background colour out is fine, but also leave a foreground out, then if you site is illegible, it's the users fault. If you specify a black text colour, but no background colour, what do people with black background defaults see? YOUR STUPIDITY.

No flash pages. I can;t make this any simpler. Flash intros are occasionally okay. Flash animations are great, flash videos are great. Flash pages are LIVING PROOF YOU HAVE THE MENTAL CAPACITY OF A SLUG! THERE IS NO REASON TO MAKE A FLASH PAGE EVER! If your site is like one great big game, fine. Flash. Otherwise, NO.

What am I downloading? On your site, I should always know how large the file I'm downloading is. Flash or FTP downloads. And If you site is one big flash, I should be able to find out what it is WITHOUT downloading it. A front page describing your site function is good. A little note above the flash is fine. A file size beneath the flash good. I should never, ever, ever have to download a huge flash program to find out what it does. If you start loading flash, and I don;t know what it does, do you know what I do? I move on. I never wait for flash to download unless I know what it is. Ever. Ever. Ever. That is final. I mean, you wouldn't ask a user to download a file without knowing what it is, would you? You wouldn't waste my TIME and BANDWITH with something I don;t want, whilst wasting YOUR bandwith and thus MONEY giving it to me, unless you where a totally idiot, of course. And most people do want to know how large a file is before they download it. And when I say most I mean all, and when I say people, I mean non-stupid people. Also giving the file size in bytes when it's over 2kb and in kb when it's over 2 meg is called being a fucktard. Don't do it. Yes, that means you FSF. (Obviously, using MB when you are over 1 gig is also retarded, but if you ever, ever expect someone to direct download a gig+ file, you should learn to read.)

No textures behind text. Common sense, people. Unless they are fantastically placid.

Never Change Your Users Settings. I like my browser window size. If you change it, you should die. Are we clear? It;s a bad, bad thing to do.

Don't leave it to chance. You images might have horrible white edges (called flash) but it doesn't matter, because your users will have white backgrounds, DUH! I don't need to specify a white background when i specify a dark colour of text, because the user will be using a white background! Guess what. I'm not. Owned. You site looks crap because you assumed I was using a white background. If it is necessary, specify.

Read all of your site the way it appears to users. Was that fun? Might give you ideas for changes, or validate your opinion, but do it. Now ask all your friends too. Collect many opinions. This is called Testing.

Use CSS, small filesizes, great flexibility. Embed CSS only when something appeas on only one page and so it;s a space saving.

Hand code. Always, always hand code. Yeah, I would say that. But try reading machine-generated HTML. Try VALIDATING it. Your web design program is Kate. Or notepad if you use windows.

Never use Microsoft software. Not frontpage, not word, hell, I'd even steer clear of windows. Okay, paint is a great program, and Notepad is okaaay... but other than that, no.

Ignore stupid standards. No embedded CSS? That's retarded. Suppose I have one page that requires an additional piece of positioning, the people on that page, should download that positioning code, no-one else. Just because it's a standard doesn't mean you need to listen. You have good reasons to violate it, Violate it! Violating things is fun!

You site should make noise ONLY on request. ONLY.

You site should stick to one window.

If you find yourself typing "frameset", cry.

No Stock. Stock is bad.

Okay, that was more than 5