Sick of irational cencorship.

Here are the things I think should be censored on tv.

These words should be beeped whenever the producer feels like it:

1. Shit
2. Piss
3. Cunt
4. Fuck

(In case you're wondering, I settled on that order because sex is good, and vaginas are nice, but wee is not a great talking point and I most definitely do not want to hear anything about poop.)

What should not be censored? Well, for a start, what is with fuzzing out mouthes when they swear? WTF? Yes, because there are little children who will use their leet lip-readery to re-construct the word. Nope. The only way a child will recognize the swearing is if they already know the word. And then what? Were you hoping your child thinks the beep means someone said kitty? No. Almost every child knows all the swear words, and most children are clever enough to work out which word it was. I advocate beeping those words primarily for the following reason: They annoy the crap out of me. They make my well-educated, swear-proof soul jolt. Swear words are pure lazy. I'll explain this later.

The other thing that I saw irrationally censored, is the putting the middle finger up. Why would people care about that? Again, if your child doesn't know this, they will find it our later anyway. Bleeping swear-words is fair enough, because if you hear lots of swearing the words just start to slip out of you. Anyone accidentally stick their middle finger up at someone? No. Ever accidentally sworn? I have. Daily since I got into secondary school, there are just so MANY curses, they seep into your skull and inundate your brain with the refracted slime of deliquencey. (translation: fuck your brain). And get this. It was on the simple life. As if a child watching the simple life could be spoiled (I was watching it because I wanted to flak Paris.) A better way to deal with the rudeness would be to take that repetitive, constructed and painfully stupid program (shit) of the television and put the pair of plastic, malformed, lazy retards (cunts) out of a job. And, on the other hand, I don;t give a dyspeptic hake (fuck) if your children learn to flip people off. If your child flips people off, it's because s/he's a insolent little brat (bitch) who will continue to be so until you parent her/im properly. (Seeing Paris Hilton flip people off is not going to encourage your child to be rude of your child is a nice child)

If you haven't got why swear words are lazy yet, it's because I went through my post and replaced the swear words with what I really wanted them to mean. It left me with something more articulate, meaningful and interesting than the same post with cliche'd combinations of curse-words. I'm glad you understand. Can I swear now?

One thing said, Paris (or it might have been Nicole, let's face it, they're too similar for it to matter) had a point: The little girls wearing makeup deserve to be treated as adults. Their parents are turning them into little bitch-whores anyway How can they complain? I had a momentary* surge of respect for Paricole, until I realized she said it to get her ass off the fire. Then I put her back to pond-slime. Inarticulate, poorly educated, relatively ugly and trashy pond slime, that is.
*really, quite momentary, about three jiffies

So, V has been talking about disciplining children, anyway. She has something interesting to say about it, clearly. For my part, I'm going to criticize her example of breaking a vase. Don't, DON'T have a go at your child for anything they do by accident. (If it is an accident, and not an accident caused by the violation of another rule, e.g. "no football in the house", "do not test the breaking heights of my china".) What are you teaching your child if you do that? Nothing! What are they supposed to do? Not make any more mistakes? Stop being clumsy? All you'll do is make your child a nervous person who believes they're worthless and will be punished whatever they do. Case in point: Whenever I break stuff, I cry. Utterly without exception. If I break something, I burst into tears and continue to cry for a few minutes. It is almost my only ambition to live in a house with entirely plastic cups and plates I don't like very much. Next bear in mind the fact I feel uncomfortable eating or drinking from plastic. (If I've backed out of eating your house, it's likely because you served it on plastic. I can't eat off opaque/translucent/thick/scratched plastic. That or the food wasn't the right colour, or had sauce on it, or .. actually, there are countless reasons. There, I hope you enjoyed that poke at my soft underbelly. Also, the later-part of the composite noun in that sentence actually makes my skin crawl. And there is a number I can't say. And I don't like even numbers. I'm going to stop now.