My science teacher is a twit.

I have a lot of blog posts stored up in my head, there's a pretty huge backlog, but i want to take this opportunity to take the piss out of my Lucretia Science teacher, who we affectionately refer to as Quinna. People who have played Final Fantasy IX are now equipped to pick her out from a line up. They would also probably recognize her from a phone call. Those who haven't, imagine an androgynous, spherical thing capable of making George Bush look eloquent in deference. Seriously. Oh, I do really like her, I just don't think she should be teaching science. Not even Lucretia Science (That is, Biology, a Scientific way of saying "elementary".) Anyway, This poor woman said something so fantastically stupid I had to post it.

She Cited what happened to Richard Hammond as a reason not to speed. She said it as if Richard Hammond was reckless and stupid and ought to have learned his lesson (She might not have meant that, but I got that impression). (Richard Hammond is a star of Top Gear, a program about cars, who recently had an accident. Wait for the funny). Now, this is why you really need to research your references.

• Richard Hammond Wasn't speeding. He was in the middle of a field sectioned off for filming, ie. no legal speed limit.
• Richard Hammond is a presenter on Top Gear, he is contractually obliged to drive ludicrously fast quite often. Otherwise the program would only be quite awesome.
• He was driving a fucking rocket car.
• Knocking Richard Hammond is a mockable offense. You do it, I mock you. Well, unless what you say is a pertinent witty and good humored jibe. Like the fact he's the most anally rape-able top gear presenter (Jonathan Ross said something roughly to that effect. Although it might have been a different top gear presenter. it is also true to state that if it involves anal rape, it will probably be received well, at least by me.

She also made us make cubes to calculate the surface area to volume ratio of varying sizes of stuff for the purpose of studying her vapid biological heat-loss lessons. Here's a quick demonstration. I'm going to avoid doing any scripts, but I could make something so fucking awesome if this wasn't blogger.

1^3 cube	Surface area = 6*1^2 = 6	Volume = 1*1*1 = 1	SaVR: 6:1
2^3 cube	Surface area = 6*2^2 = 24	Volume = 2*2*2 = 8	SaVR: 3:1
3^3 cube	Surface area = 6*3^2 = 54	Volume = 3*3*3 = 27	SaVR: 2:1
4^3 cube	Surface area = 6*4^2 = 96	Volume = 4*4*4 = 64	SaVR: 1.5:1

Guess how many cubes I had to make to do that. None. Took me fucking ages, but thanks to my extensive knowledge of the 32 times table (computing gives you an eerie understanding of the subtle properties of the powers of two. Mostly from finger binary and buying drives.) I didn't even have to use a calculator. (By the way, I don't do the SaVR calculations as a hobby, these could be totally wrong. My point still stands.)

Sweet Asperger's Syndrome. You can work out the highest common denominator of 96 and 64 expressible in the form 2^n, but you can't criticize your Lucretia Science teacher without using exponents. Also, giving Biology a nickname? Well, at least I avoided using nested brackets. (Irrational quantities of brackets, but not nested).