Copywriting, the Bad.

A previous post about web-page design in which I state the strengths of the AssaultCube website.

Do you want to see the worst site I've seen all day? "Cromm Cruac"

Let me give you an event horizon: I stumbled apon this site. I read all of the text. I rolled my eyes and pressed the stumble button. That's right, I left, immediately. Why? Because I felt disrespected by this site. Imagine I came up to you and said if you'd just like to get on this boat with me, we'd go on holiday together. I don't want to go alone, it'll only cost you your time. You'd probably like to know were we're going. You'd probably like to know how long for. I refuse to give you any indication. If I said a week in the Bahamas, you might come, if I said a month in Russia, you might come, where you say into Russian culture or looking to improve your grasp of Cyrillic languages (I am actually). If I'd said it was a cruise, I have no idea where exactly we'll go, but we should definitely be back sometime this year, you might come. Would you come if I totally refused to provide you with any information what so ever? Fuck no.

From reading this text I get the impression something will "happen" when I click the link. Something the orchestrator couldn't be bothered even to brief me on. I feel disrespected. I don't want to have to download some shitty flash animation if I don't want to watch/use it. Thus, I refuse to move on until someone tells me what it is, roughly.

I'm sure it's a crying shame. That random girl is so very sexually attractive, if she was here right now I would totally ask her nicely if she was a lesbian. Somehow, I get the impression whatever this site holds could well be totally great.

I guess I'll never know.

Kidding. Now I've spent half an hour writing and researching this post, I might as well watch the damn thing

Okay, I entered the site. It was NOT WORTH IT. I was unable to ascertain the purpose of the site. I think what it is, is someone had a stupid crack-taking egotistical slob of a friend who made some elaborately animated and confusing designed site as a joke while drunk. The friends fell out. The computer was hacked and the flash file taken by this estranged friend who posted it on the internet to make him look like a jerk. I can only guess. Alternatively, some stupid crack-taking egotistical slob might think they're being really clever by making a site that plays music to show how good they are at drawing really small, slowly downloading pictures of ugly naked girls. They might think they're clever making it impossible to save the pictures. ("Hur, now thay kant infrinj mi copirite. hur." Completely violates the purpose of the internet.) They might have even posted this design atrocity on the internet on purpose. All I can say is I haven't been so infuriated by the poor accessibility of a site since I went on a similarly unstructured site produced by Square Enix (who have never been cleverer than twelve year-olds who are still in year two) which was IN JAPANESE. (You might be all "ooh, but you do know SOME Japanese..." Yeah, the fonts wouldn't load. Also, I can't read much Kanji and "some Japanese" is roughly equivalent to "So long as she's happy, I don't mind", "I will sail through the cosmos with this planet as my vessel", "hello, I would like to inform you my teacher has transformed into real english strawberry jam", "that car in front is a Toyota" and other such useful phrases.)